I don't know why people are so compelled to dish out advice at every statement that is said to them. For example, if I were to say "It is hot outside" someone invariably has to say "You should stay in the air conditioning this weekend" or "Don't go outside in weather like this" or even "Make sure you drink lots of water".
I live in Florida and have for 16 years. I think I know what to do when it is hot outside or when I am dehydrated. What I don't know is why people are compelled to throw advice at me. Especially when I don't recall asking for help. Maybe I am just having an adversity to sentences that start with you should, you need, you have, you better, make sure you, you need to, you... I know that precise communication is one of the highlights of humankind but why do there have to be so many traffic directors.
I know that there are a lot of stupid people in the world. Maybe I appear as one of them. A lost person among the masses that can't put one foot in front of the other without tripping unless I get some direction on my life. Whatever happened to people waiting for the request for advice like "What do you think?" or "What would you do?".
And you are probably saying, but people are just trying to be helpful. I appreciate help from people, I really do. But only when I ask for it. I almost want to shut down communication when every statement I say is answered by some of the sentence starters mentioned above. I can feel the hair on the back of my neck start to stand up and my eyes start to roll back. I want to just scream out "I am an adult and I can think for myself, thank you".
I think my husband came up with a great solution from a show in the late 80's, early 90's called Pee-Wee's Playhouse. When people say "Why don't you..." you can just respond with "I don't know, why don't I..." I mean really, how can you respond after something like that?
2 comments:
All those suggestions would make anyone crazy. You are right. No one likes being told what they "should" or "shouldn't" do. You were right about something else. You are an adult and as an adult, you have the right to tell ALL OF THEM to be quiet! If they really can't control themselves, tell them to start their own blog. (Was that advice that I just gave? If so, I do appologize). That's what they are there for. Then you have option to read it or not.
This may be the beginning of an entirely new entry, but I think it has something to do with people's own belief in their value on earth. See, folks have this tendency, as you mentioned, to want to help out. There's a wrong in the world, and it is their duty to right that wrong. Or, they may see someone walking toward a man hole without a cover and they see it as their duty to prevent someone from falling in it. So, when they hear someone say something, it is their worldly duty, neigh, mission to offer advice that could not only improve the life of the person recieving said advice, but possibly save it!
What they don't understand is the value of education. They come from the eastern European school of pedagogy: stand and lecture, and if you don't like it, you must be stupid. They don't understand the most impactful education is that of experiential education. The irony is that most of the people we are talking about, I assume, are older. Therefore, THEY learned by experience. So, they innocently, in turn, are trying to prevent you from that experience. Sometimes it is good to prevent someone from experience. For example: drug use, jail time, crime. However most of the time, it is, as you say, annoying. Life is to be experienced, especially if it's a part of life that won't kill you. Yes, it may be a bit uncomfortable at times, but it may be absolutely beautiful and a priceless experience at others.
I don't know how to prevent it or deal with it. And even if I did, I wouldn't tell you because that would be giving unsolicited advice.
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