Ode to the Microwave

The day after my last post, I was given a new topic very quickly regarding our microwave. Of course the holidays came up, I was too busy to download the pictures of the camera, etc, etc...so here I am finally posting.

I love our microwave. It is a warm shade of beige (technically called bisque) and matches our dishwasher, stove and fridge. The microwave is over the stove and while I have never had one like this before, I would never trade it. I love having the extra counter space (even though if you have seen my house you know I have some counter space to spare) and the microwave at eye level.

So let me bring you to a few weeks ago. Josh and I had already put Abby to bed. We had just warmed up some food for her for dinner but I had noticed that our microwave was not making its usual sounds. Usually the light goes on, the turntable turns and the whooshing sound most people would recognize from a microwave starts up. Well, I decided to think nothing of it because her food warmed up on her little plastic plate and she was happy. So dinner time for the adults and Josh put some yummy meatloaf on his glass dish to warm up for one minute and I patiently await my turn. Well, everything starts up fine but again, no whooshing sound. Thinking it was no big deal, the timer counted down to zero, turned off, and then BOOM!!!! The glass plate had shattered in about 4 different pieces. (Minor tangent: I have heavy glass dishes. They are our every day dishes from Crate and Barrel. Approximately half an inch thick and we have not even come close to breaking one of them yet.) Josh and I exchange looks and figured it must have been a fluke or a defect in the glass. The plates aren't that old and while they are microwave and dishwasher safe, maybe we had put a hairline crack in the dish causing a weak spot. We proceeded to clean out the microwave and figured let's try another plate. Well, same thing happened. Rotating plate, timer to zero, turned off, BOOM!!!! Deciding to salvage my remaining plates (if there are parties of more than 10 people, we are screwed), we determined it had to be something wrong with the microwave. No problem, we can call Maytag. I mean the commercials always say the repairman has nothing to do. Well, you can talk with the bored Maytag repairman for $30. And that is just to talk to him! Josh being the fix-it man of the house decides that he can take down the microwave and see if it is a part that can just be switched out. I figure, what is there to lose and let him go for it.

So down came the microwave...

Notice how nicely Josh put the towel down to protect the glass top stove?

Now, you are probably wondering what that cylinder thing is on top of the stove. That is the fan, which Josh believed was part of the problem. And how did he get the fan out you ask...

Yeah. That is our microwave on the kitchen island...don't even get me started. Josh took apart the outer casing and took out the fan. Thinking it was an electrical problem, he decided to call his dad and diagnose.

So with Josh on his Blue Tooth and his dad on the phone, they played electrical Jeopardy. "I'll take things that cause your plate to blow up in your microwave for $400, Alex". After playing around for awhile, someone decided that you can plug the fan into the wall by stripping down an electrical plug to see if the fan works. Josh skillfully plugs one end into the wall and then he starts to slowly go towards the fan. Deciding that I can be funny, before the connection is completed, I poke Josh and go "BUZZZZ!". Well, he didn't think that it was very funny and threw a few choice words my way. It was well worth it. Then the moment of truth came and Josh leaned in an put the wire end to the fan. Except this time, real sparks showered out and I screamed. The result was a burnt connector.

At this point, even if it was the fan, it was fried. So Josh decided to go online and we can research parts to replace it ourselves. Between us we have a math degree, education masters, business degree and a MBA so we are well qualified to repair microwaves, right?

After much searching and frustration, we decided that there was nothing that we could do to repair the microwave. It would cost us $250 for a new one and at least $150 to see if we could fix the new one with no guarantees. So I was on the Home Depot and Lowe's websites to see that we could get one, no problem.

Of course then reality set in. I called all around town and apparently I have no sense of style because they are not carrying bisque appliances anymore. They are so four years ago. Our options now are white, black or stainless steel. I decided to do more research because, as you can tell from the first picture, a different colored microwave above a bisque stove just doesn't go. (Okay, maybe I could get away with it but it would bug me. The fact that our sink is white and doesn't match still bugs me) But I had not resigned myself to color changing my appliances before I exhausted my options.

I come to find out that Lowe's can order it for me but it will take two weeks. TWO WEEKS?!?! We use our microwave multiple times a day and you want me to wait two weeks? You try warming up stuff in an oven for a toddler saying "EAT, EAT, EAT". Not something I really want to do, thank you very much. I decided to call around to every appliance place in the phone book and had our Saturday planned out for going to a scratch and dent place and then one other place that could order it in four days. Four days I could deal with. though I didn't want to go because they kept trying to sell me into the top model of microwave for $500. For $500, it better clean my kitchen while it microwaves.

Saturday morning, we loaded up Abby and knew that we were going to end the day with a microwave on order, one way or the other. We went first to the scratch and dent store. We figured we would have no luck here because we were looking very specifically for a bisque over the range microwave oven. Since it was on the way to the store that could order it for us, we figured we would just pop in. We walked into the store and with the bright spotlight on it, we saw EXACTLY what we wanted. Our bisque microwave was sitting on a shelf calling us. What made this even better was that it had a scratch on the side (which is covered by the cabinet), it was the top model of microwave ($500) and because of the scratch it was 50% off ($250 - our budget). AMEN!

We got the microwave home thinking that since we got another Maytag microwave, the back plate and screw holes would be in the same places. Riiight. Why would the same company that makes the same microwave do something smart like that. So out to Home Depot Josh went to get some more back plate screws (since it was a scratch and dent the screws didn't come with it) and then we can just reuse the screws for the top by drilling a few new holes. Josh got the back plate on and we go to get the microwave up...not realizing that this microwave was about 1 inch higher and the original back plate screw holes wouldn't work...Finally Josh got the back plate in the right place and we go to put the microwave up...not realizing that the top screws will screw in but only 2 revolutions which will not support the weight of the microwave. Josh was forced to go back to Home Depot...and Lowes...and Ace Hardware...to find out that they don't carry that type of screw with that threading we needed. Of course...Which let to Josh having a mini-meltdown.*

Now we have a microwave we can't mount and a mess all over the kitchen.

And of course Abigail didn't want to be left out of the fun so she decided she can make a mess too by throwing Goldfish crackers all over the floor:

But, like her daddy, she cleaned up nicely.

Sorry I don't have a picture of Josh cleaning but she is much cuter with a broom. Josh actually had a bigger cleaning job on his hands because, if you notice, all of my cooking utensils and knife block were just sitting out there waiting to be bathed in sawdust.

But Josh was finally able to locate a store, Tractor Supply Company of all places, and found the screws. Then, voila! we have a beautiful, new microwave.

See how nice it looks? It matches and the everything was cleaned up so nicely. I didn't even have to come back and do a spot clean up! Go Josh.

And what became of the old microwave? It sadly was put out to pasture for the seagulls in the landfill to microwave...or blow things up...

*The mini-meltdown was more like a temper tantrum. Nothing major but not something I like to see in the house and Josh knows that. But I can understand how the screws not working were the final straw. To his credit, nothing was broken, Abigail was taking a nap and he cooled off as he drove to Tractor Supply Company. And more to his credit, he came back with these:

Sorry for the long post but this was a story that was worth telling. And I couldn't do it justice by leaving out any details.